October is National Bullying Prevention Month with today being Unity Day, a day to unite against bullying, I wanted to reinforce the message that whether in real life or in cyberspace, bullying causes hurt that is real.
Did you know that 61% of children have been bullied? 87% of children who admit to bullying have also been bullied bullied themselves?
These findings were shared at last month’s 2011 State of the Kid Report press conference held by Highlights Magazine. In the past the annual survey focused on asking kids ages 2-12 questions about themselves and their preferences, worries, and aspirations whereas this year the one of the focuses was on bullying.State of the Kid also found a difference between the definition of bullying according to age group. 48% kids ages 2-8 defined bullying as “being mean,” whereas 34% of ages 9-12 agreed. The older age group further defined bullying as a behavior that is unprovoked, repetitive, or intense.
According to the children surveyed, being bullied means:
- To be bossy
- To be mean to someone
- To bully means to beat up or hurt someone
- It’s when you be (are) mean to someone and you do it every day
- To repeatedly hurt or embarrass someone on purpose
- To physically or emotionally hurt someone
- To bully means that they just want to hurt you for no apparent reason
- You bully someone when you’re PURPOSELY doing it MORE THAN ONCE
Certainly kids have a good understanding of what bullying is but how do they deal with it?
28% tell a teacher, 15% report it to a parent, and 13% share with another adult but 14% said that they tried to handle the situation themselves by telling the bully to stop. Kids also stick up for each other by stepping in to help. Only 2.1% of respondents admitted to walking away or ignoring the situation.
“Boys were significantly more likely than girls to say that they bullied the person back, while girls were more likely to say that they told the bully to stop or ignored the bully. Younger kids were more likely than older kids to say that they bullied back or tried to be friendly, while older kids were much more likely to tell a parent or an adult or to ignore it.” ~2011 State of the Kid Report
So what can we do about bullying?
1. Know what bullying is. If you are ashamed to not be current on all the information, StopBullying.gov has information on what bullying is, recognizing the signs, and how to get help.
2. Create open lines of communication. Many parents don’t talk about it and that makes kids not want to discuss it. Let your children know it is something that you are concerned about and they need to tell an adult. Your kids may not tell you directly but perhaps they will tell another family member. Or a sibling.
Last year when Captain Computer was being called names at school, he didn’t come to me or my husband. He told his sister one night before we put them to bed. Being worried, she told me. I was proud that she recognized the importance of the situation and was concerned about her brother’s hurt feelings to tell us so we could have a conversation with the teacher.
Parents of preschoolers will appreciate my post, Resources for Dealing with Preschool Bullies, written to help families after we learned Captain Computer had been bullied.
3. Acknowledge that emotional scars that come from bullying are as harmful as the physical ones. While being punched or kicked leaves bruises and scars that can be seen on the outside, the internal hurt from bullying is also real.
Let’s make a pledge to empower our kids to put a stop to bullying.
I was invited to attend the Highlights State of the Kids Press Event and received magazine subscriptions and a game for attending but all opinions are my own.
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Original post by Tech Savvy Mama
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