Tech Savvy Mama

Parenting in the Digital Age

Talking to Kids About Healthy Technology Use

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This healthy technology use post is sponsored by The National PTA Ready, Tech, Go! 

When my kids were little, there was a time when they used to always ask “why.” Even when their curiosity felt overwhelming, taking time to explain the why behind their question always satisfied them. I learned that working with my kids to understand things that were part of their world was so important. As they got older, the same held true when talking to them about healthy technology use.

It’s easier to have conversations about healthy technology when we have access to resources like PTA Connected that help us feel more knowledgeable.

How to Use PTA Connected Resources to Talk About Healthy Technology Use

The National PTA acknowledges that parenting in the digital age is complex. They provide tools, research, and supports to help parents make the best decisions for their families. Materials available through PTA Connected empower families to create conversations about healthy technology use so children act safely, responsibly and thoughtfully online.

Here’s how you can use PTA Connected resources to explain the why behind questions like:

  • Why can’t I have a cell phone yet?
  • I’m not done yet! Why do I only get an hour of screen time a day?
  • Why did my friend say such mean things about me online?
  • Why should I care about my digital footprint? I like what I shared!
  • All my friends are talking on Discord! Why can’t I use it?

Why can’t I have a cell phone yet?

They say they’re ready but are you? That’s a huge question for many families especially since our kids often want phones before we want them to have them.

Screen Ready from AT&T, created in partnership with the American Academy of Pediatrics, features a Your Child’s First Phone quiz with 10 short questions that will help you decide if your child is ready for a phone.

It features questions such as:

  • Who is starting conversations about getting your child a phone
  • How often do you feel your child needs a cell phone for their safety
  • If they demonstrate responsibility, such as finishing things assigned at school
  • Following rules about media
  • Ability to keep track of their things
  • Whether you trust their judgement when you’re not with them
  • Their ability to handle impulses
  • Whether you’re ready to create a family media plan
  • And more!

I would recommend you take the quiz first. Then if the results come back in the Ready Zone, sit down with your child and take the quiz together. The questions can be used as conversation starters to talk through the very important decision of your child having a phone.

If the results come back in the Not Yet Ready Zone, the suggestions featured in the bullets are helpful to consider.

Why do I only get an hour of screen time a day?

Screen time limits can be a huge source of conflict between parents and kids. We know how important it is to balance time online and off to create healthy digital habits. Helping kids understand the why behind screen time limits teaches them the importance of putting down their devices in favor of doing something else.

Kids need to know there are only so many hours in the day. Their screen time is based on the other priorities such as school, extra curriculars, and family time. Screen time is an extra, meaning it is nice to have but not essential unless it’s productive screen time.

Teaching kids the difference between productive and passive screen time is also important. Productive screen time is time spent using our devices for homework, read an eBook, or to learn new things. Passive screen time tends to be watching videos or marathons of back to back episodes of shows. Gaming can be considered both passive or productive screen time, depending on the game, what skills are involved, and how you view it as their parent

But starting this conversation with older kids who have had their phone for a while can be difficult, especially if their screen time involves texting friends late at night.

Modeling proper use and having conversations about healthy technology use is important for all ages and The Smart Talk helps create space for this discussion.

The Smart Talk is an online tool designed to help parents create conversations and work with their kids to set ground rules about technology via a personalized and customizable contract. It’s great because it gives you tips on what to do before, while, and after you talk to ensure your conversation is productive.

The Smart Talk asks your family a series of technology questions on five topics. The questions facilitate thoughtful conversations and aim to set boundaries that influence habits around:

  • Privacy & Security
  • Communication
  • Media Choices
  • Health and Wellness
  • Ongoing Conversations

Each topic takes about 10-15 minutes to complete, depending on the conversation you have. It’s ok to break up the time to have meaningful conversations that allow you and your child time to reflect.

The Smart Talk isn’t a one and done contract. I highly recommend using it to create technology rules. Then revisit the site to update them as your tween or teen gets older.

Create a contract helps set expectations for screen time and device use but you’ll also need to stay current on digital safety topics and social media tools, model healthy relationships with devices, and continue conversations about digital safety because technology changes.

Why did my friend say such mean things about me online?

The online world can be a great place to connect and strengthen friendships, but it can also be a place where feelings get hurt and friendships shatter. Tweens and teens strengthen bonds with friends through the ability to stay constantly connected but the same comments, conversations, and content can turn into mean negative interactions where kids feel bullied, unsafe, and less than confident. Bullying, both in person and cyberbullying, is real and affects kids of all ages. 

As parents, we are powerful forces in helping our kids take the high road through “treating others as you’d want to be treated.” Besides modeling the behaviors we expect, there are other things we can do to encourage kindness and empathy, including relying on Be Internet Awesome resources from Google. These free resources are designed to encourage tweens to interact positively and build internal confidence that helps them address negativity when it arises.

Google Be Internet Awesome

Designed for ages 7-12, Be Internet Awesome teaches kids the fundamentals of digital citizenship and safety so they can explore the online world with confidence. It’s a helpful resource that teaches kids to be smart, alert, strong, kind, and brave. It also features talking points for family discussions and activities that help you create a strong foundation for your kids’ safe, successful use of the Internet.

Google Be Internet Awesome

As a parent and former teacher, I love how Be Internet Awesome teaches kids the importance of treating others with kindness. It reinforces the importance of kindness in the digital world and IRL. 

Using Be Internet Awesome resources, I wrote a post called 6 Questions Parents Need to Ask Kids to Reinforce Kindness in the Digital World. Here are six questions you can use with your kids the next time they’re wondering why someone was unkind:

  • How would you feel if someone behaved that way to you in person?
  • How might you behave the next time that happens to you?
  • What role did you play in that situation?
  • How might you be able to help next time?
  • What are some ways you could turn the situation around?
  • Do you think you should have asked an adult for help?

Why should I care about my digital footprint? I like what I shared!

Social media and technology allow us to get information and stay connected constantly but the digital footprint we leave has a lasting impact on all ages and stages of life. Part of healthy technology use means understanding that everything shared online becomes part of your digital footprint.

Because our kids’ brains aren’t fully developed until they’re 21, they aren’t always thinking about possible future consequences of the things they share now. It’s important for them to understand how what they post could impact their ability to get a summer job, internship, into the college they dream of, and how it could affect their future career. AT&T Connected Learning can help your child learn about digital citizenship and why it’s important to be mindful about what you share.

Accessible through the Screen Ready section of PTA Digital Connected, Connecting with Purpose: Digital Footprint is a 10 minute lesson about why their digital footprint matters.

There’s also a lesson plan for classroom teachers to use with students as well as tips for kids about how to connect with purpose.

Why can’t I use Discord? Everyone else is!

Discord is a popular tool for communication, but if you’re on the fence about your child using it, Build Up & Belong is a way to learn about it and facilitate discussions about it with your teen.

Created in partnership with Discord, Build Up & Belong features resources for parents such as:

These tools can help families understand Discord as a communication tool, how to navigate privacy and safety, and ways to have talk about online scenarios, experiences and expectations. 

But if you might Discord is not a platform you want your child to use, that’s ok. Share your reasons why with your child and let them know not all websites and online communication tools are appropriate for them.

Talk to them about how some websites:

  • Feature inappropriate or harmful content for kids
  • Are ways strangers might try to communicate with them, putting them at risk
  • Try to get you to reveal personal information you don’t want to share
  • Don’t protect kids against cyberbullying

As parents, it’s our job to keep our kids safe. When they know this, they’re more likely to want to use websites that don’t put them at risk. The Achievery from AT&T makes it easy to find and access age appropriate and interesting content from trusted websites.

The Achievery is a free, safe online learning platform for students in grades K-12. It features videos and educational activities that support learning in the following subjects:

  • English and Language Arts
  • Social Emotional Learning
  • Technology & Engineering
  • Digital Arts
  • Math
  • Science
  • Digital Literacy

Teaching kids to be responsible digital citizens, kind online, and confident when navigating online spaces is important. At the end of the day, we need to instill values that promote healthy technology use and explain the whys behind healthy technology use and it’s great to know the wealth of resources from PTA Connected can help.

This post was sponsored by National PTA but all opinions are my own.