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4 Ways Parents Can Teach Kindness to Middle Schoolers

August 2, 2017 By Leticia

This post is sponsored by Staples

When I taught first grade, academic subjects were part of my core curriculum, but it was also important to teach my 6-year-old students character education. Lessons on compassion, kindness, empathy, positivity and what it meant to be a good friend were essential to their learning as reading, writing, math, social studies, and science. I modeled the values I hoped to instill in my students and worked with our school’s counselor on coming to teach lessons on a regular basis as did many of my elementary school colleagues. Now as a parent of two middle schoolers, I feel like these important lessons have gotten lost.

teach kindness to middle schoolers

As kids grow up, do we just assume they already know what they should know and that regular instruction on these topics aren’t important?

Certainly, teachers and school administrators are always modeling the behavior they expect from their students, but as we start a new school year, this is also an anxiety producing time for many middle and high schoolers who worry about friendships, bullying, harassment, and don’t love themselves as they should. These underlying social and emotional issues can cause depression and emotional distress, leading to poor academic performance in kids of all ages and it’s up to us to continue the learning that happened at school at home.

teach kindness to middle schoolers

Talking to middle schoolers can be tricky if you want more than one word answers, but fortunately lessons in kindness can come in different ways. In addition to modeling the kind of behavior you expect and making yourself available, it’s also important to highlight positive role models that tweens and teens identify with as well as kindness and emotional well-being.

4 Ways Parents Can Teach Kindness to Middle Schoolers

4 Ways to Teach Kindness to Middle Schoolers

Seek Opportunities to Be Kind and Share Kindness

Support Public School Teachers Through Staples for Students

“How we treat one another impacts how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about each other, and how healthy our communities are. That’s why we believe inspiring people to be kind is the key to building a more vibrant and productive world. We understand this is no easy task and we can’t do it alone.”

—Born This Way Foundation on Kindness

This year, Staples, Lady Gaga and her Born This Way Foundation teamed up on the Staples for Students program to support education and promote positive classroom experiences nationwide.  To start, Staples for Students donated $1 million apiece to Born This Way Foundation and DonorsChoose.org. This money will be used to continue Born This Way Foundation’s impactful programs championing kindness and emotional wellbeing and support teachers through DonorsChoose.org.

Started in 2000 by a public school teacher, DonorsChoose.org has been empowering public school teachers around the country by funding various classroom projects and material requests.

Many of the teacher projects on DonorsChoose.org inspire students to be kind and support emotional wellness, both of which Staples and Lady Gaga believe to be a necessity in kindness education. Here are some of the DonorsChoose.org projects teachers have created and are hoping to fund in order to teach their students about kindness:

  • Johnson in West Valley City, Utah hopes to provide her middle school class and their families with books that with reinforce the theme “kindness matters.”
  • B in Menlo Park, Californiaseeks to inspire her students to express their feelings through journaling.
  • Bolton in Rockford, IL aims to create a classroom that supports her preschoolers’ social and emotional development through fun and interactive activities.
  • Trombly in Lowell, Massachusettswants to provide her special needs students with resources to support their unique emotional needs.

A donation in any amount will help teachers fund classroom projects that teach kindness and emotional well being in the coming school year.

Model the Kind of Behavior You Expect

Just as younger kids learn from our actions, our middle schoolers look to us to provide examples of how to act in every situation whether we’re in the car, at home or out in public. For example, keeping our road rage to ourselves isn’t easy at times, but the way we act in the car towards other motorists sets an example for our drivers-to-be who are paying attention to our words and actions.

The bottom line is our kids act out what they see. If they see us acting badly towards one another, they will too and we can’t teach kindness unless we are kind toward others. But no one is perfect. It’s easy to say we will take a deep breath to channel the calm, but it can be hard to remember in the moment. It’s better to acknowledge the less-than-ideal way you handled the situation when you’re around your kids. It opens the door to a conversation about what you did wrong, what you should have done instead and shows them that you’re working toward being a kinder person at all times, just like you hope they are too.

Make Yourself Available

We think our middle schoolers are grown up and independent and for the most part, they are but there are other times when they need us, and they let us know in the most subtle ways. It can be difficult to pick up on these cues when we’re looking at our phone or preoccupied with the endless mental to-do list, so find times in your day to make yourself available to your tween or teen to check in.

You’ll probably get a single word answer when you ask them how they’re doing, but when you talk to them about something going on in their world, it could spark an unexpected conversation. Making yourself available without being too intrusive is key. Prying is not ok, but asking a question in just the right way can be the key to getting your kids talking about issues that matter to them.

In the past, I’ve used drives to sports practice to discuss upcoming games. It has led to conversations about team dynamics and individuals who aren’t being team players.

Lastly, try mentioning an article you read about someone in your community doing something kind for others and ask if it’s something they’d like to help with.

Highlight Positive Role Models

Best known for being an international singer, songwriter, and actress, Lady Gaga is more than a pop icon for today’s generation. She also uses her past experiences to make the world a better place through her Born This Way Foundation.

“The first ‘s’ is safety.  The second ‘s’ is skills.  We want kids to feel safe in their schools or safe in their home environments, so that they can acquire the skills to be a tolerant accepting and loving person,” she said. “And then we believe that this will lead them towards the ‘o’ which is opportunity.”

—Lady Gaga

Co-founded with her mother, Cynthia Germanotta in 2012, the non-profit Born This Way Foundation is designed to be a youth empowerment organization with a broad goal of creating a kinder and braver world by combatting meanness and cruelty. The programs are designed to inspire bravery in today’s kids and parents so culture can work towards a kinder and more accepting society.

—

There you have it – 4 ways to teach kindness to your tween or teen! For a chance to win a $50,000 scholarship and a trip for two to an upcoming Lady Gaga concert, visit StaplesForStudents.org. While there, you can learn the official contest rules and more about Lady Gaga teaming up with Staples to help teachers and classrooms.

Support Public School Teachers Through Staples for Students.

Looking for resources on teaching younger kids kindness? These past posts of mine can help:

  • 5 Ways to Teach Compassion, Empathy, and Kindness to Our Children
  • Back to School: Reinforcing Academic, Social, and Emotional Skills with Netflix

I was compensated for this post but opinions are my own and based on personal experience. Images courtesy of Staples, Inc.

 

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: #StaplesforStudents, Born This Way Foundation, DonorsChoose.org, kids, kindness, Lady Gaga, learning, public school teachers, school supplies, Staples, Staples for Students, teachers, teaching kindness

Previous Post: « How to Plan an Outdoor Get Together to Renew Friendships Before School Starts
Next Post: How to Talk About Healthy Relationships with Tweens and Teens »

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DC area blogger & middle school computer science teacher focused on edu, family tech & teens. ❤s= 🚀 #STEM 🏃 #StJudeHeroes #legacyteamnuun 🏝 #Haiti

Leticia Barr
Still on that half marathon high! 🎉Mondays are Still on that half marathon high! 🎉Mondays are always better when you have new race bling to start your week! 🏅 I hope the start of your week goes well too! 💕
#medalmonday #stjudeheroes #runwithstjude #memphis #stjudememphismarathon
✅ = Half marathon #6 🎉 Yesterday was a gorgeo ✅ = Half marathon #6 🎉
Yesterday was a gorgeous day in Memphis for a race! The weather was absolutely perfect and my favorite part was running through the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital campus to soak it all in at mile 10. 🏃🏻‍♀️ Along the route were patients, former patients, and their families who are so incredibly grateful for the support of Heroes like me who fundraise, train, and run to ensure that no child dies in the dawn of life. 💕 I never go into any race with expectations. All I want to do is start the race having met my fundraising goal, have fun on the course, and cross the finish line.🏅So thank you for helping me accomplish those 3 goals. 🎉 This weekend St. Jude Heroes raised $14 million dollars to help St. Jude end childhood cancer. The $5,100 you helped me raise this year is part of that and I could not be more grateful! Thank you for allowing me to do what I do and run to support St. Jude. ❤️ I'm already looking forward to running in Memphis again next year! Who wants to join me? I’ll fundraise if you want to run with me! I’d be thrilled to be your race buddy if you want to run a 5K or 10K and promise to be the best cheerleader ever! 🙂 #stjudeheroes #runwithstjude #stjude #stjuderun #memphis
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to run If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to run St. Jude Memphis Marathon Weekend, here’s a look at the experience! 🏃🏻‍♀️My favorite part is always running through the campus of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital! ❤️Today I saw patients and their families lining the race course through campus cheering their hearts out for us Heroes. It was such a good reminder of why I choose to run this weekend year after year! 🥰 #stjudeheroes #runwithstjude #stjudechildrensresearchhospital #memphis #halfmarathon
✅= $5,000 fundraising goal met! 🎉🎉🎉WE 👏🏼 DID 👏🏼IT! 🎉🎉🎉 
It is the best feeling in the world going into tomorrow’s race having bypassed my original fundraising goal by an additional $1,000 and knowing how many of you are cheering for me! ❤️Half marathon #6, I’m coming for you! 🏃🏻‍♀️💪🏼🏅And yes, I had to go back for another photo just like yesterday’s but with my updated fundraising total! 😍 #stjudeheroes #runwithstjude #stjude #memphis #stjudememphismarathon
🎉$4,875 🎉During my flight, my seat mate aske 🎉$4,875 🎉During my flight, my seat mate asked me if I worked for St. Jude after noticing St. Jude Heroes embroidered on my jacket. When I told her I was in town for St. Jude Memphis Marathon and I ran to raise money, she opened her purse and dug around for the cash she had. 💵 She was very familiar with St. Jude’s mission from her involvement in her college sorority and is a regular donor. Even though she had just donated, she handed me a bunch of bills and wished me luck with my race 🏃🏻‍♀️I’ll be adding her gift to the total I had when I picked up my race bib. It was such a thrill to pick up my bib to see you’ve helped me surpass my original goal of $4,000 and to be so close to my new $5,000 goal! ❤️ #stjudeheroes #stjuderun #runforstjude #halfmarathoner #nuunambassador
Put on my running shoes And I boarded the plane To Put on my running shoes
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain 🎶  It is SO good to be back in Memphis! ❤️ Every year I think this might be my last race but the minute I get off the plane and start walking through the airport, I remember my why. My why becomes more apparent as I drive into downtown and past the @stjude campus where children and their families stay during their treatment for life threatening childhood illnesses which is free thanks to donors like you who ensure they never have to pay for treatment, housing, food, or travel. ✈️ At St. Jude kids get the best care, care that I could only hope for if my kids were to ever get sick. And that is my why. 🩺 On the St. Jude campus there are moms just like me who face the unimaginable every single day. I run for them so they can focus on helping their child live. ❤️‍🩹 I know if I was a mom of a patient, there would be an army of Heroes who would fundraise, train, and run for me and my sick child. I also run to give them hope which is something so many families have thanks to donors like you. St. Jude leads the way the world understands, treats and defeats childhood cancer and other life-threatening diseases. When this is your why, it’s hard to stop which is why I just keep going. ❤️#stjudeheroes #runforstjude #memphis #whyirun #nuunambassador
It’s almost St. Jude Memphis Marathon Weekend! ❤️ This will be my 6th half marathon & 9th race benefiting @stjude kids and families. 🏃🏻‍♀️As a race veteran, you’d think my goal would be to improve my time but honestly, my goals are to raise money as much money as possible and to run for those who can’t. If you haven’t already donated but would like to, see the St. Jude link in my bio to make a tax deductible donation of any amount. 🙏🏻 I’m so so close to $5,000 and with your help, I know I’ll get there! Thanks in advance for any amount you can give and get ready for lots of race related posts and stories over the next few days! Sorry not sorry! 🏃‍♀️❤️🏃‍♀️
#stjudeheroes #stjudemarathon #runforstjude #stjudememphismarathon #stjuderun #stjude
How do you teach computer science concepts like th How do you teach computer science concepts like the cloud? 💻Through hands-on, interactive learning experiences like the ones offered for free at @AmazonWebServices Skills Center in Arlington, Virginia. 🏢 AWS Skills Centers provides free, fun ways to learn more about the cloud and job opportunities. Visit the link in my bio for more information and to plan your visit to the Skills Center! 🚘AD #computerscience #cloudcomputing #STEM #amazonwebservices #awsskillscenter
Thankful for a week filled with family, food, outd Thankful for a week filled with family, food, outdoor fun & being photobombed by my favorite girl. 💕 #thanksgiving #family #optoutside
Find a friend who will join you at OrangeTheory in Find a friend who will join you at OrangeTheory in the morning, celebrate the workout with lunch, and take ridiculous selfies with you and @theholdernessfamily after more bubbles and bites. Thank you @lisatasch for being that friend! I adore you! 🧡💪🏼🥂And huge thanks to @westfieldmontgomery for inviting use to meet Kim and Penn! They’re just as wonderful as you’d imagine them to be! 🎄#friends #holidays #westfieldmontgomery #moco #mocomd
Every day when their boy leaves for school, these Every day when their boy leaves for school, these two follow me upstairs and jump on his bed. 🛏️ One watches the driveway from the window and the other stares out the door, ready to alert the other if he comes returns. It’s the sweetest thing! 🐾 I reassure them he’ll be back later but I’m not quite sure what this pair is going to do next year when he heads off to college. I guess we’ll pass the days until the kiddos come home with long dog walks and console ourselves with treats. 💔  #chocolatelab #yellowlab #labrador #puppylove #rescuedog #labrescue #momlife
I’ve visited historic Old Town Alexandria many t I’ve visited historic Old Town Alexandria many times but today I got to know a different side of the city by hearing little-known stories of Africans and African-Americans, both enslaved and freemen, and visiting historic sites. ⛪️ According to @j_chapman99 (founder of @manumissiontour, 4th generation Alexandrian, and Alexandria City Council Member!!) Alexandria, Virginia was one of early America’s main centers for the international and domestic slave trade. As we drove through different historic neighborhoods, the contributions by Black Americans were apparent throughout. 🏡 It was a powerful day and an excellent reminder that Black history IS Virginia history which makes it a huge part of American history! 🇺🇸 If you’re in the DC area or happen to be planning a visit to Alexandria, I highly recommend booking a tour with Manumission Tour Company to educate yourself about important historical events and individuals whose contributions to local history are just as significant as those usually mentioned in history books. 📚Huge thanks to John for making me aware of a very important part of Old Town Alexandria’s history and also to @toyotausa for inviting me to join be a part of their Steeped in History initiative. 🚘 #ToyotaPartner #ToyotaSteepedinHistory #alexandriava #blackhistory
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