Today for Bump Month, the 9 Bumpin’ Bloggers are writing about the moment we knew we were moms. For me, it has to do with coming to the realization that it was ok to put my career on hold to be a mom and then to give it up when it wasn’t working for me and my family.
“Moms (and moms-to-be) need to think long term. Are you choosing a field and specialty area that will allow you to be the kind of mother you want to be?”
My mom started teaching because there were limited professional options for women after graduating college. During her career she learned that teaching was a job that would allow her to spend time with me and my brother as we grew up. Having the same calendar, summers off, and her ability, as a seasoned veteran, to leave school at a decent hour to come home and be with us were perks that made up for having to grade papers nightly and deal with difficult kids and demanding parents.
I joke that I was drawn to teaching because it was in my blood but it’s sort of true. It was a career path that I tried to avoid for so long despite my love of working with kids and fondness of sharp pencils and construction paper. And Post-Its, staplers, and tape. Yes, really. Don’t ask.
After teaching first grade for a number of years, I moved into a 12 month position in central office where I trained other teachers on integrating technology into their classrooms and evaluated the hardware, software, and online resources that we purchased for our county school.
Recently married, this was the perfect job for me at the time. It didn’t matter that I had to work during snow days. Or that summers were our office’s busiest time because it was the only time our incredibly large school system could schedule back-to-back training sessions. I had no responsibilities to anyone but my husband and enjoyed the success of my professional career.
Upon learning we were going to have a baby, my perfect job didn’t seem so perfect anymore. I was determined to come back to work but a wise colleague and soon-to-be father of two said, “Don’t make that decision until you hold your little girl in your arms.”
Upon learning we were going to have a baby, my perfect job didn’t seem so perfect anymore. I was determined to come back to work but a wise colleague and soon-to-be father of two said, “Don’t make that decision until you hold your little girl in your arms.”
The fact that my job might not allow me to be the mom I wanted to be was a foreign concept. I never thought I would be a stay-at-home-mom and give up the job I had worked so hard to get. But I did.
I took a leave of absence when each of our children were born. Later I was fortunate to fall into some wonderful part time positions within the school system. These jobs let me balance my desire to be a parent, work, and my kids’ needs for social interaction as they grew older.
But my most recent position in a school left me stressed and unhappy. I was always rushing- to get myself in the kids ready to be at school on time, to leave and pick up my preschool age son before having to do kindergarten pickup for our daughter. I felt that my quality of life was suffering, as was the limited time I had with my children. Even though I loved my job and my colleagues, I wasn’t happy. Plus in a year when budgets were tight, my position was in jeopardy.
When my position was eliminated, I passed up another job that was offered to me. It was a job that I could have done. I just didn’t know if I wanted to. With a lot of thought and uncertainty about my future employment, I bravely said goodbye- for the time being. My plan was to take a year off to figure out if there would be a job that could better fit for parenting. The uncertainty of the future terrified me. But as my husband had wisely said when our first was born, “Look at this as a time to figure out what you want to do.”
On March 1, I submitted my paperwork to resign as a teacher from my school system. I realized that the consultant work, freelance writing assignments, and regular blogging gigs, were plenty to keep me busy. It allowed me to work on a flexible schedule that met my professional needs but also be available for our children.
It may not be the perfect solution forever (I stay up was too late and could spend a lot more time with my very understanding husband) but for now, this works for our family. With our youngest heading to kindergarten in the fall, I now know that work will always be there but it’s more important to fit my work around being a mom.
Read more Bump Month “Moment I Knew I Was a Mom” stories from the Splash Creative Media team:
Read more Bump Month “Moment I Knew I Was a Mom” stories from the Splash Creative Media team:
- Alison Ray from Sassy Moms in the City @sassymomchicago
- Andrea Fellman from Savvy Sassy Moms @savvysassymoms
- Grace Duffy from Formely Gracie @graceduffy
- Jessica Rosenberg from It’s My Life @kikarose
- Julie Meyers Pron from Just Precious @justprecious
- Kelly Whalen from The Centsible Life @centsiblelife
- Laurie Cooper from Guessing all the Way @clueless_mama
- Leticia Barr from Tech Savvy Mama @TechSavvyMama
- Whitney Wingerd from Mommies with Style @WhitneyMWS
This Bump Month post was inspired by Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood, a book by Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple, that I read as the From Left to Write book club selection for this month.
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Original post by Tech Savvy Mama
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Great thoughts. I agree with what your decisions and hope to do the same for my family. It’s just hard because it’s not the social norm anymore. Day care is becoming the solution.
I think each decision we make at each step of our parenting journey can be difficult. Finding the balance is tough. I’m glad you’ve found the solution that works for you!
I took some time off work also…for about 2 years and then I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to start working full time again. The moment with our kids and precious and fleeting. Glad you found a way to balance it all. And yes you stay up way to late at night 🙂
I think us type-A personalities are always terrified by not knowing. But the truth is, we never really do. Glad you were able to find a way to make it work for you.
You always seem to have such a good head on your shoulders and your family at the forefront of your decision making. I’m thrilled you’ve made the choices you have for your own family and for other families looking for guidance in the world of technology!