Bump Month: Things I Wish I Knew As a New Mom

There are many things that pregnancy books don’t tell you about being a mom but a good girl friend would.  Today for Bump Month, the Bumpin’ Bloggers are sharing things that we wish we knew- the good, bad, and the ugly! 

Amanda Rodriguez, Parenting by Dummies

• I wish I knew that my kids were gonna be able to outwit, outlast, and outplay me and that I would like it.  I would have gone on Survivor and won a million dollars when I had free time, a fit body, and brains not scattered by motherhood.

• There is no baby book and how to parent your baby.  Every baby is different.  You parent the child YOU HAVE, not the kid that is in the baby books.  What works for your kid may not work for other kids.

Robin, Not Ever Still

• I wish I knew that sitting and holding a newborn all day *is* a productive day.
• But I also wish I learned how to wear my baby in a sling a lot sooner.
• I wish I would have known that succeeding with babywearing would be, for me, the thing that let me reconcile being a mom with still doing the old activities that made me…me.
• I wish I knew in the first days that nursing would one day soon become magically an easy thing, and that I would grow to love it.

Sandie Angulo Chen, Urban Mama

•  I wish I knew that sitting and holding a newborn all day *is* a productive day.
• But I also wish I learned how to wear my baby in a sling a lot sooner.
• I wish I would have known that succeeding with babywearing would be, for me, the thing that let me reconcile being a mom with still doing the old activities that made me…me.

• I wish I’d known that sitting and holding a baby all day or watching it bat at toys might get kind of boring—and that it’s okay to feel that way. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less.
• I wish I’d known that many nursing moms leak from their breasts, sometime for months. That was a bummer of a surprise.
• I wish I’d known how much curdled milk a newborn could vomit up all at once. Or maybe I don’t wish I knew that. Either way, it was incredibly shocking.
• I wish I’d known that even though the first time I cut my baby’s nails that I made him bleed and that when my husband and I tried to change my son’s first diaper it was almost a divorce level event, that we would learn quickly and become the ideal parents to our child.
• I was prepared to love my child. I just didn’t know how much I would be in love with him.

• No one told me that being a new mom could be so tough on my marriage, especially with sleep deprivation and late night feedings! 

Elaine, Connor and Helen

• I wish I’d known that a baby’s weight is not the only measure of his or her health.
• I wish I’d known that because babies change so fast, the possibility existed that every day would be better than the one that preceded it.
• I wish I’d known that every difficult phase would come to an end.

• I wish I had known how challenging the first few months with our first baby would be on our marriage–and that it would get better and easier.

• I wish I knew that I would want to stay home with my kids for the first several years of their lives. Had I known that I would have felt so strongly about not leaving my babies to go back to work, I would have planned better to make it happen. So, my advice is to think seriously about that possibility and work with you partner to come up with a plan!
• I wish I knew that breastfeeding would require lots of work! (Or maybe I don’t).  Expecting moms (who want to breastfeed) should consult with a lactation consultant and be prepared for a few tears, sore n*pples, and feelings of insecurity before they get in a happy groove for with their babies.
• I wish I knew how amazingly awesome my own mom was before I became a mom myself.  There is no greater realization!

Diana Funk, Caffeinated

• I wish I knew just how much poop was involved.  And how much of it would end up on me.  And my nice stuff.  and that, unbelievably, it wouldn’t matter.  (Thought of this morning, as i cleaned poop out of the crevices of a ring i was wearing.)

• Just do whatever it takes to survive the first few weeks (or months).  Don’t worry about holding him too much or not feeding him not enough or that he’s not sleeping enough.  You aren’t going to spoil the baby!  If he wants to sleep on you instead of in his or crib or wherever–let him.  It won’t last forever.

• I wish I would have known how unnatural breastfeeding is for some women and that it is okay to get help. Buying nursing shields and having them ready when I delivered was enormously helpful to me. That being said…
• I wish I would have known how unnatural breastfeeding is for some women and that it is okay to quit. If it’s your first baby, and you’re just not digging the nursing thing, then quit.  Or if you’re running after your 2 year old and 1 year old at the park, trying to keep them from falling off of the equipment, and your boobs are hanging out, and the baby’s got milk all over her sweet newborn face, it’s okay to throw in the towel. Parenting is hard enough.
• I wish I would have known that as scary and painful as the delivery was, that soon I’d forget, that my body would heal, and that really what I’d remember is seeing my babies’ faces for the first time.
• I wish I would have known that you can’t force a baby to eat, sleep, or poop.
• I wish I would have known that as soon as we got into a sleeping/eating/whatever pattern, it would change.
• I wish I would have known that husbands can–and should–help at night, even if you’re nursing the baby. When Mom’s finished nursing, Dad gets up, changes the diaper, and puts baby back down to sleep. It’s a team sport, this newborn game, and both Mom and Dad are the players.
• I wish I would have known that I’d cry–a lot–and laugh–a lot–as a mother.
• I wish I would have known that it was okay to call the pediatrician’s office every day of the week, if I had questions every day.
• I wish I would have known earlier how sending the pediatrician’s office holiday cards and bringing sweets every so often would end up landing me appointments whenever I needed them.

Jessica Haney, Crunchy Chewy Mama

• I wish I had bought a pump and am glad I’d at least been to the Breastfeeding Center so that I’d know where to go to get help when we struggled breastfeeding that first week with the first baby. (then we made it three years, and milk was flowing freely with baby #2)
• I am glad my sister told me that (duh) nothing lasts forever and that whatever is challenging will, in fact, change (see above! though the new mom really needs to know things will change NEXT WEEK!)
• I’m glad I enjoyed napping with #1 because #2 sleeps well solo and I have no time to nap anyway! It’s a good thing I stored up that first year of #1’s life! And it was really enjoyable to share sleep.
• I wish I’d started a Lotsa Helping Hands list or something before baby #2 came so that I had playdates lined up for son #1. Some first time moms should do this to get their freezers stocked with food!

• I wish I’d known how exhausting it would be when the second and third baby comes along, especially when they are all bunched together and very young like ours. I would have given myself permission to ask for help with cleaning, meals, and other chores and hired sitters more often, even if it was only to get in an occasional nap.

• I wish I knew that I should DELEGATE.  To my husband, my parents, the occasional babysitter.  The only result of the fact that I changed almost every single diaper of all 4 of my kids is that I have a serious lack of babysitters in my phone book.  (And my husband defers every kid-oriented issue and activity to me.)

• I wish I had know that babies can and will projectile vomit… and be fine 3 minutes later.
• I wish I had know that you will love your baby SO MUCH that after being projectile vomited on- right in the face…
• will hurriedly wipe the vomit from your eyes and say with a smile, “Are you alright, sweetie?”

Special thanks to The DC Moms who contributed all of the wonderful advice!  Complete Bump Month giveaway details can be found at the bottom of this post.

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Original post by Tech Savvy Mama
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