Nine years ago when I wrote Important Conversations to Have with Your Kids About Instagram, my 11 year old daughter had just entered middle school and gotten her first phone. Today she’s an almost 21-year-old college junior and we know so much more about how kids are impacted by online experiences. We also know it’s important to nurture mental health to keep kids safe online.
Social media has the power to connect us, propel movements, and entertain, but it can be addictive, overwhelming, and damaging to self esteem. We know we need to manage time on our devices and talk to our kids about healthy technology use but it’s easier said than done. It can feel difficult to nurture mental health to keep kids safe online when cell phones, digital devices, and social media are a big part of their worlds.
Today I have the pleasure of sharing a guest post about why mental health is the foundation for online safety by Ron Kerbs. Ron is the founder and CEO of Kidas, a cybersecurity company committed to enhancing the safety of young gamers in the digital realm. This must-read post covers how mental health impacts online behavior, signs your child might be struggling, and strategies parents can use to nurture mental health to keep kids safe online.
Guest post by Ron Kerbs, founder and CEO of Kidas
In today’s connected world, children spend more time online than ever before. From chatting with friends while gaming and scrolling social media feeds, the digital space plays a big role in their daily lives. However, with these opportunities come risks that can affect their mental health and, in turn, their safety online.
As parents, nurturing your child’s mental health isn’t just about promoting emotional well-being — it’s also a powerful way to protect them from online dangers. Let’s explore how mental health and online safety are connected, warning signs your child might need help, and practical steps you can take to create a healthier digital environment.
Why Mental Health is the Foundation for Online Safety
When children feel confident, supported and emotionally resilient, they are better equipped to handle the challenges of online spaces. A child’s mental health directly influences how they perceive, interact with and respond to the world. When children are mentally and emotionally well, they are better equipped to navigate online spaces with awareness and resilience, making safer choices and avoiding harmful behaviors.
A child that builds emotional resilience is more prepared to handle rejection, cyberbullying or negative comments without it severely affecting their self-esteem. In addition, a strong sense of self and emotional well-being helps children resist peer pressure and makes them less likely to engage in dangerous challenges or risky trends they may come across online. According to The Cyberbullying Research Institute 55% of students between the ages of 13 and 17 experience cyberbullying, so helping to ensure that children are emotionally and mentally well is very important
How Mental Health Impacts Online Behavior
When a child is online, whether it be on social media, playing video games with communication like Fortnite or Roblox or chatting with others on Discord, their mental health may be at risk. Behind the glow of a bright computer, tablet or phone screen lies a dark space where bullies can hide, or jealousy can grow. How your child interacts online may be impacted by their mental health.
Struggling children may seek connection through oversharing, increasing the risk of interacting with unsafe individuals. Additionally, they may use their screens to escape and/or become dependent on likes, shares or positive comments from friends and strangers making them more vulnerable to online bullying or manipulation. Many mental health struggles can affect the way children behave online.
- Low self-esteem: Children struggling with low self-esteem or low self-worth may overshare online in an attempt to gain validation through likes, comments, shares or attention from others online. When experiencing low self-esteem, they are also more likely to find themselves affected by cyberbullying situations.
- Anxiety or loneliness: Kids who feel isolated or anxious might use oversharing as a way to seek comfort, emotional support or a sense of belonging that they can’t find offline.
- Attention seeking behaviors: These behaviors could be related to emotional dysregulation and would not be limited to online communications, however, children with difficulty regulating emotions might overshare impulsively without fully considering the consequences. Examples of this might be oversharing personal information such as where they live or go to school or something as extreme as sending explicit photos online.
- Social Pressure or FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): Kids may feel compelled to share personal details to fit in with peers or stay relevant in social circles, fearing they’ll be left out otherwise.
- Depression: Children who are experiencing depression may retreat into excessive screen time to avoid real-life connection. With excessive time online, they may be exposed to toxic behaviors or harmful online communities.
By working to nurture mental health to keep kids safe online, you can empower them to make safer choices, maintain healthy boundaries and navigate the internet more mindfully.
Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling with Their Mental Health
It can be hard to tell when a child’s behavior reflects typical growing pains or when it’s a sign of deeper trouble. Hare are emotional, behavioral, and online behavior to keep an eye out for.
Emotional Signs to Look For
Sudden changes in emotions may be a result of mental health struggles in children. If they are experiencing sudden mood swings, irritability or heightened anxiety, consider looking into where these changes are coming from.
Another emotional sign to be aware of is an increased sensitivity to criticism and rejection. When children show an increased sensitivity to something that may have not bothered them in the same way before, it’s likely this sensitivity is being caused by something else. Lastly, persistent sadness or withdrawal from social activities is a sign that something else might be going on.
Behavioral Signs to Look For
Some behavioral signs may be easier to spot than emotional signs, as they may be harder to hide among family and close friends.
Things to look out for include changes in sleeping or eating patterns such as sleeping a significant amount more or less than usual, a drop in grades or losing interest in school as well as avoiding hobbies that used to be important are all concerning behavioral signs to look for.
Online Behavior Red Flags to Look For
Identifying online behaviors may be a bit more difficult to spot. Using monitoring software for phones and gaming may be a good option to keep an eye on things like screen time as well as any risky communications children may be having.
Online behavior to look out for includes staying up late at night on their screens. This could indicate they are speaking to someone they don’t want anyone to know about, or participating in inappropriate behavior that they don’t want to get caught partaking in. On the other hand, becoming secretive about their devices or online activities or suddenly abandoning platforms and games they once enjoyed could be signs of cyberbullying.
If you notice your child showing these signs, it’s important to explore what’s going on in their online world and offer support without judgment.
Steps Parents Can Take to Nurture Mental Health to Keep Kids Safe Online
Creating a safe and supportive digital environment requires proactive efforts. Here are six key strategies to nurture mental health to keep kids safe online.
1. Open Communication
Fostering open communication is extremely important. Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable sharing their online experiences. Instead of asking, “What did you do online today?” try open-ended questions like:
- “What’s your favorite thing to do on [app/game] right now?”
- “Have you seen anything online lately that made you feel uncomfortable?”
Showing genuine interest helps build trust and keeps communication lines open.
2. Monitor Online Activity
While it’s important to know what your child is doing online, excessive monitoring can backfire and make them feel untrusted. Use tools that allow you to monitor discreetly, such as ProtectMe, which alerts parents to potential threats in gaming chats while giving children privacy to explore the digital world.
3. Encourage Healthy Digital Habits
Help your child find a balance between screen time and offline activities like sports, hobbies, and family time. Encourage regular breaks from screens to reduce emotional overload and promote better sleep. Try limiting your child’s screen time to an hour before bed to encourage both healthy screen and sleep habits.
4. Model Positive Technology Use
Children learn from what they see. Demonstrate good tech habits by setting boundaries for your own screen time, such as no phones during family meals or late at night. Show that technology is a tool, not a substitute for real-world connections. Additionally, consider sharing situations that you have found yourself in online and how you managed them to lead by example.
5. Teach Emotional Resilience
Equip your child with tools to handle online challenges. Teach them to question things they see online, not take everything at face value, and practice responding calmly to negative comments. Remind them that not all negativity is a result of them, but rather a result of the person on the other side.
Continuing to keep an eye on your child’s mental health and helping them to build emotional resilience will help them experience some negativity without taking things too personally. Encourage them to seek help from trusted adults when needed.
6. Partner with Schools and Communities
Collaborate with teachers, coaches, and community groups to stay informed about your child’s well-being and social interactions. Many schools now offer programs that address online behavior and mental health — take advantage of these resources. Children are not only online at home, in fact, they spend most of their days online, so partnering with schools and communities helps you to get a better picture of how your child is responding to and handling online situations.
What To Do If You Notice Warning Signs
If you notice any troubling signs, approach your child with empathy and curiosity. Rather than jumping to conclusions, ask:
- “I’ve noticed you seem down lately—has anything online upset you?”
- “It seems like you’re spending a lot of time on your phone lately. Do you want to talk about it?”
If they admit to experiencing distress, thank them for trusting you. Then, together, explore solutions. If the issue seems serious—such as prolonged anxiety, signs of cyberbullying or emotional withdrawal — consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor to help get to the root of the issue and to learn strategies on how to manage moving forward.
Healthy Minds, Safe Screens
Protecting your child’s mental health is one of the best ways to keep them safe online. When children feel emotionally supported, they are more likely to navigate digital spaces with confidence, make better decisions and avoid harmful situations.
As a parent, staying engaged and informed is key. By fostering open conversations, encouraging healthy habits and being attuned to warning signs, you can guide your child toward a positive relationship with technology — one where their mental health is nurtured, and their online experience is safe and empowering.
This guest post is by Ron Kerbs, founder and CEO of Kidas. Ron holds an MSc in information systems engineering and machine learning from Technion, Israel Institute of Technology, an MBA from the Wharton School of Business and an MA in global studies from the Lauder Institute at the University of Pennsylvania. Ron was an early-venture capital investor, and prior to that, he was an R&D manager who led teams to create big data and machine learning-based solutions for national security.
No compensation was received for this guest post.
This is such an important topic—nurturing kids’ mental health while keeping them safe online is essential in today’s world. I appreciate the practical tips you’ve shared; they make starting these conversations feel much more manageable. As a carpet cleaner and a parent, I don’t always have time to dive deep into these issues, so having clear guidance like this is incredibly helpful. Thank you for addressing this crucial aspect of parenting!
This post is so helpful. We are having an increased amount of talks with our children about mental health, especially when it comes to online interactions. We will reference this!