When conversations about alcohol between parents and kids increase, underage drinking rates decrease. April is Alcohol Responsibility Month so it’s a great time to talk about about underage drinking prevention. Here’s how to have age-appropriate conversations with your elementary, middle, or high schooler so they’ll understand how alcohol affects growing brains and bodies and can make healthy and safe decisions.

How to Talk About Underage Drinking Prevention with Kids

As a parent, you’re the leading influence regarding decisions about underage drinking. Even though 67% of American youth report they’ve never consumed alcohol, 41% believe they will be faced with a decision regarding drinking or not drinking alcohol within the next year.

As a parent, it’s important to know the facts about why conversations about underage drinking prevention matter. Data shows:

• 93% of parents have talked to their kids at least once in the past year about alcohol consumption, up from 85% in 2022
• Nearly 1-in-3 parents (31%) identified themselves as the leading influence in their child(ren)’s decision to drink alcohol or not, followed by best friends (27%), and a distant social media (18%).
• 33% of children identify their parents as the leading influence on their decision to drink or not drink alcohol, followed by best friends (25%), and social media (17%).

Children need to understand the risks of underage drinking to their as the reason why they’re not allowed to drink alcohol until they’re 21. Not to mention the fact that it’s illegal and risky behavior!

Whether it’s your first time starting a conversation about underage drinking prevention or you’re revisiting it as your kids have gotten older, here’s how to approach this topic in an way so kids will listen.

Share Underage Drinking Facts with Elementary Ages

If this is a topic you’ve been wanting to address but haven’t been sure it’s appropriate for your elementary aged child, the truth is it’s time! If they’ve been around adults consuming alcohol, chances are they have questions. Here’s how to approach the topic of underage drinking prevention an age-appropriate way with your elementary aged child.

Young kids are observant and curious. They eye your colorful drink garnished with its tantalizing slice of fruit or fun umbrella and wonder why they can’t have a sip. Or they’ll just come out and ask. One summer when we were at a ballgame, our then 9 year old daughter asked if she could have a beer!

If they ask, “Grown-ups drink alcohol, why can’t I?” respond by sharing the facts:

• First, it’s against the law, and there’s a reason for that. Alcohol can be misused, and people must be old enough to take responsibility for drinking. Statistics show that adolescents who drink are highly prone to accidents and dangerous situations. Plus, you are young and your body and brain are still growing.*
• Certain privileges come with age. This is not limited to drinking alcohol but other things too. Adults are allowed to drink, drive cars, and vote. But adults have increased responsibilities in addition to the privileges that come with age: they go to work, pay taxes, and provide for their families.*

*From Say it Loud, Say it Proud: Communicating Effectively from AskListen Learn.org

These responses use kids’ curiosity as a springboard for a fact-based conversation about what alcohol is and its impact on the developing brain and body. Kids as young as 9 can understand that alcohol affects their developing brains AND its illegal to consume before the age of 21.

When kids know the facts, they can make healthy choices and practice safe decision making. Read up on the facts to know why kids and alcohol don’t mix.

Have these talks early and often. They serve as the foundation of a strong relationship so conversations about responsibility can continue as your child grows. 

Underage Drinking Prevention Conversation Ice Breakers for Middle Schoolers

Underage drinking prevention is often taught during substance abuse units in middle school health education classes. But it’s critical to follow up on what was learned in the classroom at home. After all, research shows when conversations about alcohol go up, underage drinking goes down!

Since 2003, conversations among parents and kids have increased 31%. During this same time, current underage drinking rates (meaning kids who have consumed alcohol in the past 30 days) have decreased 59%.

And not only are parents doing a great job, but so are kids! Conversations initiated by kids are also up over the past two decades, showing great progress.

Even though it may feel difficult to have a conversation with your middle schooler, this data shows they want to talk! They’re relying on you to be the steady force in their lives who can provide boundaries and structure during a time when their inner selves feel unsteady.

Great ways to talk about underage drinking with middle schoolers includes: 

• Letting them know that underage drinking is NOT the norm or a rite of passage
• Breaking the ice by seizing teachable moments like when my daughter asked for a beer in the ballpark
• Using current events to spark conversation
• Practicing ways to say “no” to underage drinking while discussing responsible decision making
• Capitalizing on times you’re together like in the car, during a meal, or winding down the day to talk
• Creating quick check in times. Here’s a great list of open-ended check in questions that promote social and emotional wellness.

According to Monitoring the Future (2024), binge drinking has reached record low levels. Less than 2% of 8th graders reported binge drinking in 2024. Eight out of ten 8th graders disapprove of their peers binge drinking. The high number of 8^th graders who view binge drinking as risky and disapprove demonstrate that conversations are effective in preventing underage drinking.

Continuing the Underage Drinking Prevention Conversation with High Schoolers

It’s reassuring to know that fewer American teens are consuming alcohol underage. In fact, now more than ever, most kids, including teens, don’t drink alcohol. Also, ease of access to alcohol is at an all-time low (Monitoring the Future, 2024). Even though statistics show consumption is down, conversations with your high schooler about underage drinking prevention are still important.   

From the beginning of high school to graduation, a lot happens! It’s an exciting and tumultuous 4 years as our teens explore a new level of independence as they get ready to leave the nest.

High schoolers have been taught the effects of alcohol on the brain thanks to school health curriculum. As parents, we can connect this learning to their future goals. Make sure your high schooler knows that alcohol affects their still developing brain and can get in the way of their future success.

While goals past high school may seem too distant to comprehend, start with a goal that’s more immediate- driving! It’s exciting for teens to start thinking about getting behind the wheel for the first time but with newfound freedom comes risk. Make sure you:

• Practice ways for your teen to refuse a drink or get out of a difficult situation
• Make sure your teen has a plan for what to do when they’re offered a drink at a friend’s house
• Insist they text/call you if they need a safe ride home. Make sure they know to never get in a vehicle with anyone who is drunk or impaired
• Set up a child profile through your ride share app on their phone just in case. This can serve as a backup plan for a safe ride home in case they’re worried about calling and waking you up, you’re on a work trip, etc. 
• Let them know what the consequences are for driving under the influence

We want to trust our teens with their new autonomy but also need to prepare them for a lifetime of making good decisions, especially when it comes to alcohol. Offer to help keep them safe and provide a sense of security without judgement.

Whether your child is looking forward to college, trade school, work, or a gap year, underage drinking can derail their post-graduation goal. Acknowledge the hard work your child is doing in high school and remind them of their goals, both big and small. Make sure they know how underage drinking can affect the goals they’re working hard to achieve.

As parents, it’s also important to know the laws about providing underage kids with alcohol. According to the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 58% of underage drinkers report that the alcohol they consumed came from family and friends.

Providing underage kids with alcohol in your home is called social hosting. Social hosting consequences vary from state to state make sure you know the laws in your state as well as other laws, such as Good Samaritan laws, designed to keep teens safe.

For more tips on talking to your kids about alcohol and underage drinking, visit Responsibility.org and AskListenLearn.org. You can also check out the other posts I’ve written to help guide you through these important conversations:

• How to Teach Kids to Make Good Decisions in Tough Situations
• What Do You Do When Your Kids Ask for a Sip of Your Drink?
• Why It’s Important to #TalkEarly When a 9 Year Old Asks for a Beer
• What Parenting Books Don’t Tell You About Creating a Lifetime of Conversations with Your Kids
• 8 Things Kids Can Learn from a Brewery Tour

I am a member of Responsibility.org’s Educational Advisory Board. I was not compensated or required to write this post and all opinions are my own.